Licence To Be Awesome

Have you ever wondered how to be awesome?

Have you ever looked at someone you admired and wish you knew how they did it?

Have you ever complained how you can't do something because it just seems too hard?

Then wonder, look, and complain no more, for I'm about to tell you the secret to untap your inner amazing self.

There is no course to take. No certificate to confirm your status (I just said licence to catch your attention). You don't need to jump through flame-torched rings over pirana-infested waters. Nor do you have to bust out of a giant bubble, surrounded by fireworks on a stage towards an audience of A-list celebrities.

We are ignoring the glitz and spectacles to reach to the depths of your abilities, because awesomeness cannot always be bought. People tend to also recognize respect and some layers of character.

If you want to be awesome just to get attention, then don't bother reading any farther. Have fun making drama and keep your ignorance to yourself.

But... If you want to know how to tap that inner ability to enforce and empower your life, then listen closely.

Learn to reflect upon yourself.

Awesomeness is earned through realizing your own abilities and learning how to engage them with enthusiasm and dedication.

So take a quiet moment or steal a brief minute to really think about what you have done. Successful people do not think about everything that they cannot do: successful people think about all the good things that they can do and acknowledge what they can't do. By using what works in a focused way allows one to be effective in their work. Limit that scope of thoughts gives you a boost to look at the list of Can't-Do's in a constructive manner, so you can learn how they can improve.

Really, the person that you most want to impress with your abilities is yourself. I have found that usually my best support is myself. Yes, sometimes I have doubts, but I have found that my parents and friends remind me of my successes and ablilities. Sometimes I am stubborn and don't believe what they say. But when I am on my side, I have always found that I always do my best. Even if the project is a failure, I can still walk away with the satisfaction knowing that I did what I could and learned from my mistakes.

This mentality is also helpful when you are applying for jobs and schools. All those questions they ask are opportunities for you to talk about how you have handled your losses and gains. There are different things that happen in life, and how you handle them helps the HR learn what type of person you are. And if you believe in yourself and know your strengths, then you may be able to sell yourself better than if you feel doubtful. Over this summer I had observed my own lack of faith in my ability to find a job (though the market isn't particularly helpful). Despite the outside factors, I always felt so negative about the applictions. Each one made me feel worse and worse till I just simply gave up in frustration. My sense of reason became overwhelmed by my lack of faith coupled with failures that I was not able to continue. Whatever happened to that sense of individual support and pride that I had always offered to myself in rough times?

It took me awhile to remember how to relearn this lesson. There were several other failures in my personal and work life that have crippled me. It has taken me months to get my heart back, and even longer to get my head screwed back on straight. I don't worry about how those failures are seen by others; they do not know what those have meant to me, and probably never will.

But I am not here on Earth to tell people how terrible 2010 was for me. I am here to share my experiences and successes with people who are encouraged to learn from. May it be a tune from a song, a line from a play, an image from a poem, or a thought from my writing: these are done to inspire them to take a pause in their life to think of something or someone. This is my ability and I hope to be able to continue to do so. Even if there is no one really listening or reading, I continue to do so, for every hundred or thousands of people who come across me, only a few people will really be struck by what they discover. And I do all of this for that few. To know that I have that ability makes me feel so inspired, and always, I hope that I never give up this dream that I can have that effect. In short, I feel awesome.

I was a good actress in high school, but that didn't make me awesome. The applause and laughs did.

I am a great singer, but that doesn't qualify me either. But the tears and twisted guts do.

The clothes and boots I wear do not make me feel like this, the attitude that I take on with the outfit makes me believe in myself.

Find those strengths and take ownership of them. Not a lot of people will always tell you how awesome you are; family and friends only strech so far across time and space. Love and cherish them, but don't forget that you will also need yourself to help you become great.

Look on the inside, and I can guarantee you that you will be surprised at what you find.

Old Writing: What Belief Does to Us

On the count of three.
One... two... three...
FUCK THE UNKNOWN!
Say it again...
Fuck the unknown!

Do you feel better?
Good, but do you know why? Why do you feel so good? Is there a bloody reason why you wanted to tell the unknown, fuck you? I don't know either, but that's not my point.

My point is this: do you believe it?
Do you honestly believe in saying, Screw you unknown!? Well, do you? What did it ever do to you? Why are you harassing it?

In fact, do you even know how to believe? In this day and age of instant gratification, gratuitous information, and pure selfish egotism and individuality, do you even know what it is like to believe?

Did you know that believing and prayer can be one of the healthiest things to do when you are very sick? Some kids are able to overcome their cancer by believing that their cancer is something else eating away at them. Belief is a POWERFUL tool. It can cause miracles, but it can also be very overpowering. Ask anyone today about conflicting religions and fundamentalist groups. Those beliefs can become stifling and drown you. But recognize that belief is a tool that humans have used for centuries. Doubt me? Look at archeology, art history. There are traces of their beliefs in the stones, in ruins, under trees. Belief comforted us when we were weak. It comforted us when we were wounded. It spurned us on when we were frozen in fear. Belief is our rock when no one else would stand with us.

Religions love this! We like to be comforted so that we can still manage to live our lives to the fullest. Yes they create standards, but look at what else they are insuring. They grant some type of love, a legacy, respect from friends and enemies. Our beliefs define our lives and our deaths. Why can't we see the full 960 on it all? I think it is fine to question, but do we need to question ourselves down to the very last thought, or the very last cell? Questions can lead to answers, but they also lead to more questions. Are you really going to go in that damn circle again? How can you accept things if you always question them? Will you learn to actually be somewhat happy?

Honestly, I am a naturally curious person. That's fine. And I think everyone should have the right to question what is going on. After all, we want to know and learn about what's happening. But if those questions lead to questions for your entire life... do you really know how to relax. Do you really know how to let go? You can theorize and think as long as you want, but you won't know how to let things go until you tried.

Try to let things go. Try to accept the fact that you will be dead, six feet underground, or in an urn getting kicked around from generation to generation till that clumsy in-law or wild child knocks you down. Accept the fact that you got an F in your favorite class. But do not fail to learn from your acceptance! Did you stop learning when you got your job, or went to college, or were finally able to marry your love? NO! (At least you shouldn't...)

Let it go, let it go, let it go. Yes it's much easier to say than to do. But are you really going to carry around all that old guilt your whole life? How can you gather more memories if you have no more space for them? This isn't Harry Potter where you can remove your memories and keep them in the shelves of your library. And really, do you want other people to be so close to the memories that you try to hold dear? These memories exist for you. They are relevant to you. They celebrate your life. Learn to let go of those memories that haunt you. Format new memories with your new love to replace the heartbreak from the other person.

Memories just don't define who you are, there is also the lessons you have learned from life. These are the lessons that are ingrained in your heart, mind, and soul. These are the things that people get tattooed to their ankles. And guess what. Some of these are cliches. But think about it. Why are they cliches? Maybe they are cliche because they have been true for multiple folks, and they understand what the thing was about. Love is never easy. The best laid plans are made awry. You don't know what you've got till it's gone.

Believe in those things your heart tell you, and the whole you agrees with. Trust your gut, and believe in it. Believe in your mind to grow and come to understanding. Believe that your heart will find love and will learn to love well. Believe your soul to be free. Believe your body can be sexy. If you find the true power to believe in yourself, you can become a more enlightened person.

Believe in believing, and believe in what you believe in. Many people may not agree with yours, but you may find those who agree. With modesty, learn to believe, and approach life with a vitality that kids use by instinct. Just believe.