Critical Drinking - A Reflection

There are those who drink for fun and to express themselves, but there will always be the students who drink endlessly. These are the students who fruitlessly drink to fill the hole that rests inside them. Go into the bar and see what types of customers appear. In the corner is the gaggle of girls doing shots. At a table a couple is enjoying their beer, talking animatedly. Then there is the one on the corner of the counter, slowly enjoying their beverage.

               

 During college I saw, and experienced, both worlds. My friends and I would make our way out of the Healthy Lifestyles floor, and settle into one of the seedier dorms. Drinks would be evenly distributed, and each of us would keep an eye on the other. Even when a close friend hosted a wine party, there was a sense of organization and safety. We were surprisingly responsible, for the drinking college stereotype. So what would fuel the drinking that the media likes to explore? Perhaps it is time to look closer at college students lives.

There was always a tradition of seniors drinking on the first day of classes for celebration. The image of a senior was one hand with a pen, the other with their drinking mug. Stress was so overwhelming for the thesising students that it was accepted, even supported, that they would go drinking. Often the seniors would say how they were going to treat themselves to a drink or several after they reached a certain goal. Drinking was a group activity, and the most relaxing way to distress besides taking other drugs.

Yet for every day that there is a party on campus, there is at least one student who is sitting by themselves with a bottle. As the workaholic seniors focus intensely on their work -abstaining from friends or the pursuit of friendships- they become isolated. Each student has to rely on their own abilities to get through the day. But since some students have never been so overwhelmed, they have poor coping skills (if any at all). That single senior tries to always have a drinking group ready, but will always have something in their room in case there are no groups to join for the night. So they are left alone, with their drinks. Even if the campus is dry, the student will find a way to acquire the needed drug.

Alcoholism and addiction can be enhanced by genetics, but the students need to be taught good habits before they reach critical mass during college. I remember feeling so overwhelmed by thesising, personal issues, dirty politics, mass abandonment, and damaged self-esteem that I tried to drown the pain with numbing salve. Each day was a struggle to exist, to muscle up the façade that would get me through the day. I would hear stories of others drinking unthinkingly, somehow enjoying the evening and letting go of stress. All that I knew, and remember, was a costly journey into long nights and sunrises, hearing the life around me wake up as I fell asleep. When colleges take the time to address the needs of the students, then we may be able to eliminate the need to drink and reduce the amount of alcoholic incidents on campuses.

The Illusion of Comfort

What is life without death?
What is love without hate?
What is destruction without creation?

And most of all, what is comfort without fear?

Think of the old adage of "No pain, no gain." Everything seems to cycle together over and over again. They are seasons of a year that can only be described as an archaic pendulum. Back and forth. Back and forth. And for polar opposites that don't fit that, there is always the image of a coin with a head and tail. Somethings are one in the same; for example, love and hate.

What love and hate have in common is passion. From there, the passion grows... morphs to the external and internal forces.

Comfort and fear, have a common ground that isn't quite as obvious as love and hate. It isn't a coin connection, but they don't act as seasons either.

Before I go any farther, I want to clarify how I am using the words. I'm using the word comfort in terms of living in comfort by removing one's self out of the path of harm's way. And I'm using fear in terms of living with anticipation, usually anxiety.

Two words that we have been defining factors on how we view life. Do we let ourselves learn how to "comfort" or strive for a "comfortable" home away from fear? Or do we live with "fear"? Why do we watch movies and t.v. shows that horrify us in our own homes?

Unlike love and hate, comfort and fear are co-dependent. They are different, but each defines the other, much like the correlation of sweetness to sourness.

During the past years, I've been familiar with comfort. But at the same time, I despise it. In a world where we all die, and have threats crossing boarders, this bubble feels fake. Too much comfort, I would become ignorant of others (which I struggle to avoid). Too much fear, I would break. Yet at this point, I fear comfort and feel comfortable in fear. How I managed to blend the two together, I cannot say. Before, I knew that I was lost in what used to be familiar, and I still am. Yet, in a twist I did not see coming, I now have an odd sense to fear. Should I be afraid of this sudden ease towards what usually causes anxiety, or have I finally reached a state of relaxation in my mind so that I can still be comforted?

Personally, I think it's healthy to fear things. But when that fear disappears, what is left to hold you back? Especially when you don't find comfort comforting? Where does that put you?

And because of that, my mind opens up even wider, and threatens to make a deliberate change.