Thursday, May 24, 2012

Laying the Cards Out

Secrets, are they really safe anymore?

What used to be buried under layers of paper and twisted lies, now floats to the top of the internet for the rest of the world and businesses to see.

What would I have to hide?

Plenty of things, but one in particular comes to mind. One that has been so predominate in my thinking in the past year and a half.

It has finally come to the point where I am just going to say it, no more mystery, nor wild guesses. My personality is too unique to be place on a normal spectrum.

I don't care who knows.

I am bisexual. Or better yet, pansexual. Any guy, woman, in any shape or form is welcome to my heart. I love for the sake of loving the individual.

I have been living with confusion for a few years. What I have come to learn is that it doesn't matter who you are attracted to, as much as WHY you are attracted to them. Perhaps I have always enjoyed liking who should be forbidden, such as bad guys, villans, and girls. But I have been very humanist in my interests. It doesn't matter if the guy is effeminate or the girl, butch. The point is that they have an attractive personality, and physical features that I admire.

I have learned to love individuals for who they are, and I'll be damned if I can't teach that lesson to others.

I am used to bullying, and I'm willing to live with it for the rest of my life if it means being true to myself.

Forget the normal lines of society, I live the life that I wish to live. And now, I can live with integrity.

I am part of two societies that encourage and support bisexual women. We are not harlots, and we are not indecicive. Love comes to us in whatever way it prefers. I have an intuition that love will come to me in a very unique way.

I watch the people around me grow, and my inspirations give me strength. I have lived in the LGBTQ community longer than I have imagined. I love these communities, and I would protect them with my life. They are my friends, family, and community. I would give my all to give them strength.

That is the click I have belonged to all my life, though never realized it. Sure, I'll bounce around making friends everywhere. But that is my family. They are who I live and breathe for. I cannot change my life without thinking, who will now be my gay/bi/les/queer/trans best friend? Where will I find the people that I am most comfortable with.

What role does theater have in this? If anything, it made me be more true to myself. I do have rather masculine tendencies, but who wouldn't in this day and age? But to crave a feminity in another to firmly establish that yang of masculinity, or even that oppostite feminity is exactly what I have been desiring.

Bring on the hate... I have crushes on Taylor Swift and Rihanna. I think that Robert Downey Jr. is hot... espcially with Jude Law. Sexuality is sexy, and I refuse to back down from this position. I will find love, and I will marry. Will it be a man or woman, I don't care as long as it's passionate and real.

I conduct other blogs for bisexual sites, and will continue to do so till mu love runs dry (which I doubt). Find me on ShyBi or USBiGirls, I will write about my life, and the establishment of a bisexual identity.

This is my first stand against socital standards. And my past reestablishes my future path. So wish me luck or wish me ill, this is the path that I choose to follow. My sexuality is not crucial to my work, but it is crucial to my personality, and I do not wish to underestimate the love I have. This is my chance to find somone who I truely love. And who I will take care off.

I am bi, and you cannot change that.