Quiet.
Just stop.
Breathe.
Where are you thoughts?
Where are you?
Can you hear the music of your soul? The rhythm of your heart?
What song is your life?
No I'm not talking about the Facebook notes where you make up the soundtrack of your life. Not even words can totally encompass each part of your life.
Each moment is like being caught in a trance of an unheard song. Emotions rise and fall as the crescendos in the piece. Seconds slow down into a legato whole note, gently roaring over the tension of stress. Your body is meant to react, no, to dance in tempo to this piece heard only by you.
If life can be like a radio, and pick up on waves of sounds, it would be easier to explain. For now I must leave the description to merely be the distinction of living in the moment, getting caught in the past, or racing too far into the future. Yet I also know what it means to be living in a different place than where I currently am. What would normally be called a rainy day, I call it my English home. Or the moment I get caught in a deja vu, it is that one afternoon at home, in the kitchen, listening to NPR while working on my math homework.
Even if these count as being in the moment, I brand these moments as reoccurring themes. They are the melodic patterns that weave my life into a complex and developing piece.
Writing songs sometimes proves difficult. Sometimes the words come first. Sometimes the melody. If I get lucky, I manage to have my guitar in hand with a notebook lies nearby. At least then I can jot down the chords and words as soon as I can grasp them out of the air. As long as I leave a chord progression, I can figure out the melody that I had wove.
Surprisingly, I have actually gathered a few number of songs that are willing to become harmonies to my life. They capture moments in my life that I want to preserve. Emotions may be fluid, but on paper they become immobilized.
As I start to review my files, these songs allow me to give more depth and insight to those fleeting moments. Though I have always been shy to edit my own poems, songs give me more time. Unlike the words that I allow to pour out of me, the structured forms give a formal beginning and end. Each piece is separate from each other, though akin. Music acts like a family to me, whilst prose is one and the same.
I would dare to say that the true melody of my life lies within prose as music accompanies it into a more diverse and complete one.
Therefore my talents depend on each other. To live to the fullest, I need to compose to the fullest. Writing is the structure, music the energy, and acting the articulation of life.
Sunday, July 29, 2012
Thursday, July 19, 2012
Dreams vs. Reality
What do you do when reality falters in the face of dreams that seem even more real? At some point my dreams have surpassed my own sense of reality. More faces and events happen than what I manage to do in my own time. Perhaps it is time to admit my own addiction.
I, Sarah, am addicted to an interesting life. Comfortability is stifling, and I too often fight back with stubborn quietness. In short, I allow myself to suffer in mundane habits. It all becomes a spring for when my life starts its unexpected roller coaster. Even then, I struggle to place an improbable balance between the climax of the situation and the comforting calm of indifference.
It is the habit of making mountains out of mole hills.
Entirely my own fault.
So I have settled on a compromise. To halt the static death of so-called reality and to reel in the dreams I have caught over the years. It is time to meet them past half-way.
I have made plans over the years and it's time to finally execute them. There is no way I could life a life of "normalcy". The 9-5 or the average jobs out there in the economy. There are plenty other people who can do the job that I currently do, and enjoy the balance between that work and their lives. I like to invest my time differently.
So I will live up to the promises and dreams I have wove.
For although reality is the current situation, dreams are the inspiration and hope that drives us to try harder.
Perhaps I have been living in the moment more often, and so I can feel how tangible the dreams are now. Their breaths tease me into an intoxication of excitement. Ghostly hands guide me through my dull-white days and my room to a state of organization and action.
Reality is the state of the world and the beings within it. Notsomuch the state of the society and the people within.
Invest in the reality of living rather than the reality of existence. We should be beyond the question of "What is life?" We should be focusing on "How do we live?" only to follow it later in life with "Why do we live?" (Unless you know your answer already.)
How do we get from where we are now to what we perceive as possible? What do we need to change? Can we change it? How do we do so?
My issue is that I have so many dreams that I tend to not know where to start. But in recent events, I have noticed that I do have the ability to make the changes in my life necessary to the development to the life that I want to live. Part of my difficulty is admitting that there are specific things that I want to do that I know would require very difficult changes. But I have the motivation now. What is left is the declaration of my intent.
And this is something I need to meditate on just a tad more.
I, Sarah, am addicted to an interesting life. Comfortability is stifling, and I too often fight back with stubborn quietness. In short, I allow myself to suffer in mundane habits. It all becomes a spring for when my life starts its unexpected roller coaster. Even then, I struggle to place an improbable balance between the climax of the situation and the comforting calm of indifference.
It is the habit of making mountains out of mole hills.
Entirely my own fault.
So I have settled on a compromise. To halt the static death of so-called reality and to reel in the dreams I have caught over the years. It is time to meet them past half-way.
I have made plans over the years and it's time to finally execute them. There is no way I could life a life of "normalcy". The 9-5 or the average jobs out there in the economy. There are plenty other people who can do the job that I currently do, and enjoy the balance between that work and their lives. I like to invest my time differently.
So I will live up to the promises and dreams I have wove.
For although reality is the current situation, dreams are the inspiration and hope that drives us to try harder.
Perhaps I have been living in the moment more often, and so I can feel how tangible the dreams are now. Their breaths tease me into an intoxication of excitement. Ghostly hands guide me through my dull-white days and my room to a state of organization and action.
Reality is the state of the world and the beings within it. Notsomuch the state of the society and the people within.
Invest in the reality of living rather than the reality of existence. We should be beyond the question of "What is life?" We should be focusing on "How do we live?" only to follow it later in life with "Why do we live?" (Unless you know your answer already.)
How do we get from where we are now to what we perceive as possible? What do we need to change? Can we change it? How do we do so?
My issue is that I have so many dreams that I tend to not know where to start. But in recent events, I have noticed that I do have the ability to make the changes in my life necessary to the development to the life that I want to live. Part of my difficulty is admitting that there are specific things that I want to do that I know would require very difficult changes. But I have the motivation now. What is left is the declaration of my intent.
And this is something I need to meditate on just a tad more.
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